


Untitled

by Geoduck



Category: Fruits Basket
Genre: Bad Puns, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-29 12:51:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8490541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geoduck/pseuds/Geoduck
Summary: If I told you the title it would spoil the joke. The plot: Kyo orders pizza and is dissatisfied by what arrives.





	

*knock* *knock* *knock*

Tohru slid the front door open to the singularly unlikely sight of Hatsuharu Sohma wearing a Domino's Pizza uniform.

"Delivery for Kyo Sohma."

"Hatsuharu-kun! You've got a job?"

"Mostly just to pass the time. Is Kyo here?"

"Yes, I'll get him. Kyo-kun!"

Kyo walked up to the front door, scowling. "Yeah, what is it? HARU?"

"Pizza's here. 1900 Yen."

"Oh, gee, THANKS Haru, I've been waiting for this. FOR THREE DAYS, you idiot."

"You've got it now, so stop complaining."

"Why shouldn't I complain?" Kyo snatched the pizza box from his cousin and whipped it open. "Look! Mushrooms!"

"Didn't you order mushrooms?"

"No, I mean the mushrooms GROWING on it. Why should I pay you, anyway? It was obviously WAY more than thirty minutes."

"For liability reasons, Domino's no longer offers any time-based delivery guarantees. Just pay me and shut up so I can leave."

"Hell no, I won't pay. I'm unsatisfied with this pizza."

Hatsuharu sighed. "Fine. How about my tip?"

"Tip? What for? Slowest delivery in history?"

"You have no idea how far this pizza traveled to get to you. You should be grateful it got here at all. Pay my tip."

"No."

"Pay me."

"No."

"PAY ME, YOU FREAKIN' PUSSY!"

"GO TO HELL, PSYCHO!"

Predictably, the two got into an all-out fight. With Shigure moaning the destruction of his house all the while, Kyo and Haru demolished room after room.

Watching the mayhem, Tohru could come to only one conclusion. "Cow tipping really IS dangerous."

**Author's Note:**

> You have been reading: "Cow Tipping."
> 
> Notes-Sorry about this. It was a case of "title first, story afterwards." I also have no idea why Kyo would order pizza.
> 
> Story originally written in 2003 (or so).


End file.
